Corporate Debut

This is a post which is a compilation of me and my friend’s experiences when you join an organisation. You need not go through each one of this, but some of them should make some sense to you. For all those who are already working, this might bring back memories of your initial days, for others this is something you may expect!

Day 1: Form-ality

Forms, Forms & More Forms. You realise, you have been using the PC much more than the mighty pen. Your fingers struggle to control the way the pen moves and you write in a handwriting you don’t recognize as yours. The Bank Guy opens a salary account for you on the spot which might have taken ages and repeated visits had you visited a bank yourself. You sign at atleast 100 places, each one differently. You check out your Debit Card and the Cheque Book in a way a Kid checks out his new toy. You try to break ice with other colleagues joined with you. The HR usually are often amused to see such bunch of confused souls joining together and pray that they don’t have to find replacement for them soon.

Day 2: Where’s my place?

This is one thing everyone is very excited about - Your cubicle! The Place where you would be chatting, whining, cursing, swearing, gossiping, bitching, sleeping, playing games, secretly logging to Gmail & FB and sometimes even do a bit of work! Once you get to know where your cubicle is, you do the recee of the area and try to find the ‘safest’ angle and position of your seat. Office privacy is ofcourse a topic of high importance. Allright what have we got here – A PC! Lets switch it on. Window --> IE -->”Windows cannot display your page”. Damn! Now what? OK lets try something else, Windows -->Games -->Solitaire, Yaay! Solitaire is something you will definitely find in any pc even if it doesn’t have a thing to keep you busy. So ensure you know how to play Solitaire.

Day 3: Know thy neighbours

You introduce yourself to your cubicle-ites. You are taken around and introduced to each and every person on the floor. After sometime, you start noticing the grin on your introducer’s and others face or is it just a figment of your imagination? You hear voices, ‘why on earth has he/she joined here”. Your jaws start aching after putting up a fake smile to each and every one. Smiling despite apprehension, confusion and nervousness does take efforts. People say the feeling is similar when you get married.

Day 4: Hello? IT helpdesk? Ohhh….Ok I will call again later

You have now become a champ of solitaire and there is nothing more to achieve. You realise you cannot live without the most and probably the only useful, important and interesting part of your PC viz the Internet. You call up probably one of the most busiest dept in any office – The IT helpdesk. Their hectic schedule is a shadow of goof-ups they have given birth to. So after umpteen calling back again and followups, the online ticket is raised whose status keeps yo-yo-ing between pending and resolved. They have a six-sigma for not solving the issue correctly the first time. Finally the matter is solved and your PC suddenly becomes much more interesting than ever before.

Day 5: Love thy neighbours

“Hey why don’t you join us for lunch?” – you hear this and are relieved that you would not be eating alone from now onwards. After many lunch and coffee/smoke/drink sessions, your colleagues turn into friends. They tell you the ‘who-is-what’s, how to deal with different kind of creatures in the office, the affairs, working proxies etc. This is the real induction.

Day 6...10..30...: Monday

You have been pretty much doing nothing for many days since you joined except for going through the same presentations repeatedly, surf the net, chat and keep checking the PC clock till 1.30 pm lunch and 6 pm to leave for the day. .Monday is synonymous to the day when your actual work begins. This can be day 6 for some, day 10 for some, even day 35, 50, 60 for the unlucky. Some noble soul realises someday that you have been sitting idle and being wasted for long enough. And you for once and for the first and last time become actually happy to get some work! You start taking baby steps, trying to stand, holding finger and walking and finally walking alone and after some time running, jumping too. You have done it all. You do this day in and day out. This gets xeroxed day after day. This is when your job starts becoming routine. You start waiting for Friday like a prisoner awaits end of his term and wish the next Monday never comes. Now you have truly arrived. Welcome to the corporate world!

Raipur Diaries - 1

As my flight was about to land at Raipur Airport, I was shocked looking at the cattle and fields from the fibreglass windows of Airbus. 'Why are they punishing me by sending me here!?' was the thought continuously buzzing around my mind like a honeybee. I got down at the Fan-Conditioned Airport and was received by the hotel guy. Throughout the 40 minute drive through the fields and trees, I  kept questioning the credibility of Google Maps. Hell! Wait a minute, this was not the Raipur I had seen on Google. Crosschecked the ticket - It said 'Raipur'. Finally I could see few buildings and some more as I realised we had entered proper city and the airport was on the outskirts. I managed to restart my heartbeat and bring back my breath. Raipur did begin with a kind of shocker.

Its been 3 days now since I joined office. I had just started getting along with the like-aged colleagues who were searching for accommodation just like me. It is a pain finding rental homes here for bachelors and people shoo you as if you are a salesman. Their eyes will scan you as if you are a terrorist and want the flat for planning a nuclear bomb attack in Raipur, of all! Wish Google could help us with it. Roaming around in search of a home, I made good friends with them. On the fourth day we planned to watch a movie in the cinema next to our office. For once, I thought maybe I will stop missing Mumbai now that I have made friends here and found out some options to hangout. This thought was dampened by the sudden rains that fell on my forehead as we moved out of the Mall. This rain felt like a stranger to me. This was not the usual thick, continuous, heavy rains of Mumbai. No matter how much It causes you inconvenience, still there is something about Mumbai Rains which you would appreciate only when you are out of the city. Some things cannot be explained it can be just experienced! I guess it will take a little more longer to stop missing my good old city of dreams!

Re-Boot!

For the first time in my life, I am not able to find words to write a new post as I am sitting on the Mumbai Airport Lounge waiting for my flight to Raipur! Yes, you heard it right. In case you were weak at geography or GK for that matter, It is the capital city of Chattisgarh. This state is known only for three things - The forests filled with of dacoits, majority of the Tigers still alive in India and The Naxals. Well this is the popular opinion about the city (supposed to be), where I am being posted after a month long stretched Training period come paid holiday from Tata Motors. Its strange where life takes you. I had never in my wildest dreams imagined to go to Raipur from a fast paced Mumbai full of friends, family and fun! As I sit here, on a crossroad, a crucial juncture of my life, I look back and rewind the good old days in Mumbai. It was yesterday night that 'the government' enjoyed it's probably the last such 'Ice-cream cum booze weekend'. With Dan moving out of Country, Craig trying to tie a knot before the wine ages more and Me chasing the great Indian dream, we are not sure when will that day come again when we laughed endlessly, did crazy acts and had loads of fun together. But looking back, I was lucky that we had so much of fun for the last 7 years, I couldnt ask for more. As I wait for my flight to arrive, I am trying to leave things behind and move ahead with optimism and embrace the change. Everything happens for a reason and for good!

Bleed Blue

I was on the internet checking scores on Rediff Scores while the Grand Finale of World Cup 2011 was been seen by my entire family in the Living Room. Why? My Dad wasnt allowing me to watch the match being superstitious. Last time when India-Pak match was going on, I had exams the other day 'cause of which I was checking scores online and not watching it. and India Won. And he wanted my sis-in-law to sit in a particular chair. This is the magnitude of involvement of an average Indian while India is playing cricket. India had reached the finals of the world cup and close to winning it. The entire nation was glued to the television. The roads wore a deserted look. Pubs, Malls, Even housing societies displayed match on the Big Screen,so much that, projector was not available on rent. I saw Sachin and Sehwag go early, so I decided to follow my Dad's instruction and it did work. Gambhir, Kohli, Dhoni all showed the world what the new India is all about. Fearless, Resilient and Bold! The entire nation screamed, cried, hugged, danced as Dhoni hit that final six. You could here crackers for hours and it was like a festival. I was not born when India had become Independent, but I am sure the celebration would have been similar then. India lifted the world cup after 28 years as Virat Kohli and others carried Sachin over their shoulders to parade his home ground. This was indeed a tribute to the little master, a dream fulfilled. As rightly put by kohli, "Sachin has been carrying the burden for more than 20 years now,its time we carry him!" This victory is a sign of the coming of age of a nation with the largest youth in the world, raring to go and prove to the world that we are the champions!